Graf #3

Inventory of my refrigerator:

The Freezer (it's on the top it must go first right?)
An ice bin
1 ice cube tray
a bag of frozen corn
a partial bag of frozen peas (it really only looks like about 1 serving)
2 boxes of “steam in the bag” frozen vegetables
a pint of mango sorbetto
a freezer burned bag with 4 links of mystery sausage
a pork chop in a ziploc bag
3 flat bags of cooked brown rice
1 package of chicken breasts
5 sirloin steaks
4 ziploc bags with assorted cuts of pork
1 bag of 16-20 peeled deveined head off shrimp
a kielbasa
most of a box of weight watchers nasty Popsicles (sorry hunny)

The Refrigerator door:
2 sticks of butter
a squeeze bottle of grey poupon
a bottle of French's honey mustard
a jar of Caesar dressing
a bottle of Heinz chili sauce
a bottle cocktail sauce
kraft zesty Italian
kraft free peppercorn ranch
half a bottle of ketchup
a big jug of world harbors hot wing sauce
ken's red wine vinegar and oil dressing
a jar of canola based mayonnaise
a really old bottle of cole slaw dressing
a jar of whole pepperoncini peppers
smuckers strawberry preserves
kraft Catalina dressing
red pepper jelly
a jar of baby gherkins
a jar of sweet relish
A1 steak sauce
French's yellow mustard
Ragu pizza quick sauce
World Harbors Australian BBQ marinade
a jar of medium taco sauce
a carafe of some awful looking homemade dressing

The Refrigerator shelves:
2 jugs of milk
a water bottle
a pint of chicken lo mien
a jar of bread and butter pickles
a small container filled with lobster infused butter
a bottle of Bailey's caramel
a pitcher filled with some random red drink
garden vegetable cream cheese
regular cream cheese
sour cream
low fat vanilla yogurt
a block of sharp cheddar
a small container of blueberries
half a loaf of whole grain bread
a dozen eggs
4 everything bagels
a chicken quesadilla casserole on a plate
3 red bulls
1 stuffed pepper
some chopped red onion in a ziploc bag
1 bag of brown rice
1 bag with some thin cooked chicken breasts
3 burger buns
a little jar with a few black olives in it

The Drawer: (it's at the bottom so it must be last, right?)
Some Garlic and Herb Boursin Cheese
a bag of shredded Parmesan
6 maple sausage links
a ham steak
half a stack of American cheese slices
a head of leaf lettuce
2 lemons
2 limes, one is half zested
half a green pepper in a ziploc bag
a cucumber

This pork loving condiment freak needs a bigger refrigerator. It seems like there are two entirely different food personalities trapped in this fridge, one tries to buy healthy foods and prepares meals in advance, the other buys take out and more unusual cuisine. He must be a heavy bastard, the refrigerator is loaded with unhealthy foods, however there is a lone box of Weight Watchers Popsicles in the freezer and an empty space on the bottom shelf where you can faintly make out the rings left behind from diet coke cans, these are the classic “healthy effort” items that make most diets a farce. She must be trying to get him to eat healthier, the half eaten remains of the home cooked meals must be the proof that she from time to time achieves small victories over his weight. There is plenty to eat, they must really enjoy food.